Perhaps you do not quite know what to do with yourself right now. You wake up and feel the weight straight away. Everything draws in, and you wonder when it will stop, or whether it will stop at all. If that thought is very loud right now, the crisis numbers at the top of this page are there for exactly this moment.
It can help to understand what is actually happening.
A life crisis is not a failure. It arises when life demands more than you can give right now. For some it is a single event: a loss, a separation, an accident, a serious illness, a decision that can no longer be put off. For others, too much builds up over months, at work, in the family, or in their health, until there is not enough strength left. Both are a crisis, and neither has to be faced alone.
It has a shape
About life crises, one thing can be said: most come, and they pass. It sounds simple, though from the inside it does not feel that way. When you are in the middle of it, you cannot see a way out, and that is not weakness, it is the nature of a crisis. When the severity lasts a long time, or your safety is at risk, more than time is needed, and professional support is the right way.
And still, there is a shape.
At the beginning there is often something you cannot grasp. Everything seems to collapse at once, or so it feels. Thoughts go in circles, the body reacts, some people cannot sleep while others can barely do anything else. Nothing is as it was, and going back is not possible either. This is the body sounding an alarm.
Then comes a phase that feels like searching. What now, where do I begin? It is about finding some kind of ground, and that is exhausting. At the same time it shows that part of you is still searching, still wants to.
At some point something begins to settle. The problem is not necessarily solved, but a small piece of orientation returns. Brief moments where things feel a little lighter, a conversation that does you good, a day that goes better.
These phases never run cleanly one after another. Sometimes things slip back, sometimes a phase lasts longer than you would want. That is part of it, and it does not change the fact that there is a shape.
It helps to know where you are right now.
What you can do now
It does not take a big step, just a small one.
Take a moment to notice what has carried you, even briefly, in the last few weeks. A meeting, a moment outside, a conversation. It sounds small, and it is, yet these are resources, and they are already in you.
And when the noise in your head becomes too much, write down what is hard right now. Not to find a solution, simply to get it out of your head and onto paper. Sometimes that makes things a little smaller.
What you should also know
Some phases last longer than you would like. Sometimes the weight returns when you thought you were already further along. It is part of the process, even when it feels like a setback.
And sometimes working through it alone is not enough. That is rarely about strength. Some things simply become clearer when you talk them through. That is not defeat, it is experience.
If you would like to take a next step
If you would like to, we can take a calm first look together at where you stand right now. No programme to work through. No pressure. I am Karin Gutenbrunner Byom, psychosocial counsellor and systemic, integrative coach. I work online from Norway. I take the time and listen first.