Perhaps you do not quite know what to do with yourself right now. You wake up and feel the weight straight away. Everything draws in, and you wonder when it will stop. Or whether it will stop at all. If that thought is very loud right now: the crisis numbers at the top of this page are there for exactly this moment.
It can help to understand what is actually happening.
A life crisis is not a failure. It is an exceptional state that arises when life suddenly demands more than you can give right now. A loss. A decision that can no longer be put off. A change that has turned everything upside down. Sometimes it is the slow accumulation of too much.
It has a shape
What we know about life crises: they come, and they pass. That is true for many life crises. When severity persists over time, or when your safety is at risk, more than time is needed. It sounds simple. From the inside it does not feel that way. When you are in the middle of it, you cannot see a way out. That is not weakness. That is the nature of a crisis.
And still: there is a shape.
At the beginning there is often something incomprehensible. Everything seems to collapse at once, or so it feels. Thoughts go in circles. The body reacts. Some people cannot sleep. Others can barely do anything else. The feeling: nothing is as it was, and going back is not possible either. This is not a malfunction. This is the body sounding an alarm.
Then comes a phase that feels like searching. What now? Where do I begin? Looking for something to hold on to. Finding some kind of ground. That is exhausting. But it shows something too: part of you is still searching. Still wants to.
At some point something begins to settle. Not because the problem is gone. But because a small piece of orientation returns. Brief moments where things feel a little lighter. A conversation that does something good. A day that goes better.
These phases never run cleanly one after another. Sometimes things go back. Sometimes a phase lasts longer than you would want. That is part of it. It does not change the fact that there is a shape.
It helps to know where you are right now.
What you can do now
No big step. One small one.
Take a moment to notice: what has carried you, even just briefly, in the last few weeks? A meeting, a moment outside, a conversation? It sounds small, and it is. But these are resources. They are already in you.
And when the noise in your head becomes too much: write down what is hard right now. Not to find a solution. Just to get it out of your head and onto paper. Sometimes that makes things a little smaller.
What you should also know
Some phases last longer than you would like. Sometimes the weight returns when you thought you were already further along. That is not failing. It is part of the process.
And sometimes working through it alone is not enough. Not because you are not strong enough. Some things become clearer when you talk them through. That is not defeat. That is experience.
If you would like to take a next step
If you would like to, we can take a calm first look together at where you stand right now. No programme to work through. No pressure. I am Karin Gutenbrunner Byom, psychosocial counsellor and systemic, integrative coach. I work online from Norway. I take the time and listen first.